Some guys jist won’t take a telling will they. Nipped down the shops there fur a daily record well the library but it is next to the shops nae point buyin it again is there the council already used ma money tae but it. So ah nip doon every morning blag the Record bring it hame wee awe read it then ah take it back doon when the Times comes in. This morning am comin oot the library wae ma paper ah hears this voice (Ah canny write in a Polish accent so bear with me here ) “Excuse me sir” ah looks left ah looks right then behind me ah canny see anyone one else around so right away ah realise he is talking tae me he must think I am a teacher.
“Whit baw bag” I replied
.”You can’t take that newspaper away”
” Who canny” I replied.
“I have told you before that is council property” he sings in that stupid accent
“And ah told you Joab Stealer ah own the fuckin council so do one”
Every morning ah hiv tae go through this crap tae get a swatch at the racing pages.
You would think I wiz stealin it. He knows fine well ah always bring it back when the Times comes in and ah don’t even do the crossword like some ah could mention.
Any way as am commin back up the close Wee Jamsie Johnstone is sitting in the close the Schools are off again. A school uniform must last years now as the wains never get a chance tae wear them.
“Hey big yin yea goat a spare fag”
“Nah wee man”
“Any dowts in the hoose big man am choking fur a joint”
“Gies a minute” Ah replies he is a nice wee guy Jamsie ah know his Da & Ma well. ha ha it’s funny how he got his name his auld man Billy supports the Rangers but the week the wee man was born Billy was on a heavy bender and never appeared at the hospital so tae get her own back on him she registered his first born son James and tae top it off the wee guy has GINGER hair naw I mean FUCKING GINGER. His maw’s faither calls him wee Jinky just tae annoy the wee guys Da.
But back tae the point here ah empty an ashtray intae a paper bag stub ends of ma roll ups widnae see anyone going without a smoke I know what that’s like. Ah takes them oot an gies the bag tae Wee Jamsie. He takes the bag looks inside then gies it
“Fur fuck sake big yin it would take me a month tae break enough of them up fur a joint ah will give it a miss”
Honestly they don’t know their born some of them.
Ah jist sits doon ah cup of tea a roll up and ma paper studying the form through ma one lens specs and ah hears this commotion out in the street. No that am wan of they noisy gits but ah like tae know whit’s going on in my own street. There’s Wee Jamsie getting man handled in tae a Police van way two big coppers. ah take it that stuck up bint up the stair must have heard him in the close and phoned the coppers. Ah bet if you had tae get a grip of her phone bill 90% of her calls would be tae the Gorbals cop shop. Ah don’t know live and let live ah say but the sooner that Auld bint croaks it the better.
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